message board

Message from: Paris, 2 June 04

Subject: please just help me understand :(


im 14. Its been 10 months since one of my very close friends died:(
I just cant get over him..I sleep with my light on, i just expect him to walk through the door and ask me to get up to go and walk through the woods with him like we used to. Im finding it really hard to believe hes gone:( I try not to cry, so it doesnt show how week i am. My mum ses its ok, and i no he never liked it when i cryed. It hurts to know hes never coming home:( I just want to be with him soo much. I think i need some help and i just want someone to help me and comfort me and to tell me everything is ok, and i want to know if anyone is going through the same thing so i can have someone to talk to:( otherwise i dont no what i will do, im dieing inside of hurt. Hope someone replys. Thankyou.

Subject:Sleeping with the light on

I know how you feel, and sleeping with the light on was one of the problems i experienced, I was told nan had died during a power cut, and I was so scared that there would be another power cut and I would be left feeling alone in the dark. I always felt scared because when I was laying in the dark I usede to think and relay the time mum came to tell me, it was awful. I used to imagine my nan would some hw miraculously walk through the door, but ut didnt happen. I sleep in the dark again now. Its something and I feel like i can finally accept the fact that she is gone, because I believe my nan is an angel, looking down on me, and guiding me to the righ t way.

Subject:(no subject)

its ok to cry. it doesnt mean that you are weak. cry happiness for the good times.. and not the bad

Subject:(no subject)

10 months may seem like a long time... but, really - when dealing with this sort of thing it isnt that long.

I lost my best friend Lizzie about three months ago. I feel really confused about what has happened and like you... cant believe this is happening/ has happened. Its all really strage and wierd.

Dont feel weak for crying. I actully feel like it is good to let it all out sometimes. It isnt weak to feel sad about loseing someone - it just shows that you are human and have feelings.

Think of the good times. You might feel like you will be feeling like this for ever. It may be hard to get over this... but it will get easier for you to cope with over time. If you want to talk to someone face to face - why not see if you can see a councellor through your school?

Your not weak for feeling this way about loseing someone who loved.

Love from Lucy.

Subject:i know how you're feeling

i know how you feel, about 6 or 7 months ago i lost a very close friend of mine, and i am still waiting to see her, i can't face the fact that shes dead. when i speak to my friends about her they all tell me that i need to move on, but i can't.
i know that funerals are meant to make the death realistic-and tell you that the person who you once loved is dead, but i still can't believe it. i think that she is still alive, and i expect her to come and say 'hi katie' but it hasn't happened and i know it won't, but i don't want to believe it. i understand your pain and anxiousness to see your friend i'm going through the same thing.
good luck in the future and i hope that all your grieving doesn't get in the way of having fun.

Subject:about ur friend

Hey i mean i didnt have a friend die but my dad died and its been really hard to deal with lately and although its been almost 7 years since his death i am growing up and now realize what i am missing out on bc i cant share certain things with him i just want to let u know that crying about ur friends death is totally ok im sure he would understand i mean and u will always remember him and like recovering from something like that comes with time i mean its like ur whole world turns upside down so just remember that crying is ok and talking about it to ppl always helps me even if they have never been through something like that they can still say kind and helpful things

Subject:Poor you

poor you. if you dont mind me asking- how did he die?
i know what youre going thru though. my best friend maz died - she was hit by a drunk driver 4 months ago, i still cant take in the way that she was there one day and the next time i see her, they were switching off her life support..........
my group of friends were pretty close and it hit us all really hard, but 2 weeks ago now, my other best friend randy(nikname:@P)
died of meningitis.
now my 2 best friends are dead, and i feel so alone. i cant take in either of their deaths, i can put a brave face on it, and try 2 help my other friends cope but inside its tearing me up.
i will wake up in the mornings and i will have forgotten, and then i remember and its like a punch in the stomach, each time it happens its harder 2 cope with.
i talked 2 my dad about it, but hes not so good with these things.
my mum died when i was small, so i dont know what 2 do.
but you are not alone in your feelings.
if u wanna talk, then i am here.
izzy :@)

Subject:i think i know how you feel

hi, i'm 15.

in january my best friend died. she was hit by a car. i was with her in the hospital when she died.. they thought she was going to be ok, but she had internal bleeding and..
it still hurts so much, to know that i'm never going to see her again, to talk to her. at first i couldn't accept it, i pretended nothing had happened, but it had.. i just couldn't face it.
don't be afraid to cry, it doesn't show your weak, just how close you and your friend were. i don't cry anymore, i don't know if i can, i hurt myself at the time.. i just lay in my bed at night sobbing and tearing at my arms. it got better after about a month, when i accepted myself that she was gone, i still found it hard sleeping though. i listened to a lot of music at night, awake, but lost in my own thoughts.

i haven't talked to my parents about it, i don't really talk to them about anything. we're not close, but that's ok, if they knew they would just go on about "are you ok" "can we do this/that for you". i wouldn't want that.. it would remind me of it all the time.

my girlfriends been really supportive and understanding about it. i know that she's there for me if i need her and that's comforting. also friends from school, not many of them knew her, but they try to help.

inside though i am still a mess. i miss her and it hurts deep inside. i have thought about ending it all, but i don't think i could and i don't think i want to really.
then i have gcse's starting properly tomorrow and i haven't done much preparation at all -joy-. i should do ok, maybe. well i'm not that bothered about them, everyone keeps saying how i should be, but i just don't care anymore.

people say the pain will go, but it hasn't yet, it seems to get worse.
i'll try to help you if i can and i'm here if you want to talk.

Subject:i am too

i no totally how you feel, my best friend passed away less then 7 months ago, i dont like to cry infront of any one coz they'll think im a baby, ive stoped eating because of her leaving. i no how you feel, so much because im right were you are. if you need to talk please reply.
xxxxx