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message no. 2501

From: David

Subject : Depression :(
On March 4th 2008 my Auntie passed away, the day after my 15th birthday, the same day my Grandad was diagnosed with heart failure, i'd never really been close with my auntie but her death effected me, it was the first loss id ever really felt, i felt empty inside, but i had my family by my side to help me through.
My grandad had been diagnosed 3months to live, he survived past that and was his usual indepent self for over a year, it was only in August 09' his health started deteriariting slowly at first but then it become more drastic, the changes that were occuring to him.
My mum and dad split up august 22nd and i dont know, it hurt me alot, i wasn't prepared for it, i was awaiting my GCSE results, i was getting set for a new journey in September, and it turned my world upside down, i was thrown into the world of independence before i was emotionally capable of dealing with it.
In October my grandads health became increasingly worse, i found myself more and more stressed, down, and alone, i felt lost and like nobody cared about me.
November 3rd my grandad passed away, never before have i felt like i did that day, my heart died, i felt so empty, like i didnt want to live, me and my grandad were closer then anything, i saw him everyday of my life he was my rock, after he died i found myself unable to cope, i felt my family werent there for me, like everyone else had moved on and i was left to face it all, ive felt like ending it ive been that low.
That was nearly 10months ago now but i stil feel down everyday, ive found myself unable to grieve for him, unwilling to accept that he has gone.

theres so much more but i dont want to bore anyone to much.
thanks

Reply from: Sophie

Subject: hi,
My mum fell ill a few years ago and suddenly died.
I know wat pain you feel being so close to someone and them going away it fells so horrbile.
i hope your ok and just remember the good time's you had with your grandad and aunty :) x

Reply from: danielle

Subject : mum
I lost my mum when i was 11. i am now 14. my mum had failling kidneys .my mum was my inspiration .Docters told my nan my mum would not live untill 30 when my mum was 30 she was still alive docters said mum would never have kids she had me mum lived 17 years longer .my mum was always proving every one wrong .she was a fighter she fighted to stay alive and look after me .mum was always in and out of hospital when i was a young child i would help mum with her machine connect her up and help her get through everyday life .we only had each other so we stuck together like glue . i never wanted to go to school .i never wanted to leave mums side when i was 9 i was taken in to care .my mum died when i was 11 in 2007 i am now 14 and in a foster family i have just finished having 12 sessions of counselling .I feel empty and lonely and my mum has been gone three years .I turned to selfhurming but now i have stopped . my head is more clear and i know mum would want me to carry on with my life .I am very proud of your grandad he sounds like a fighter to .you just have to try and remember the good times .I feel for you

Reply from: david

david
Thanks to you both for your replies,

Danielle my heart goes out to you, it must've been so hard, but your right, your mum would want you to move on with your life, thats what people always say to me about my grandad, 'he would want you to be happy' and i know its hard, cause im stil in that bad phase, but life doe's move on, and you have to move on with it, because the world doesn't stop moving because someone passes away.

hope your doing okay,

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