message board
message no. 1970
| From: anon |
Subject : my dad
My dad passed away a few days ago. Thing is I hated him, and feel like I have no right to feel the sadness and loss that I feel now. I chose not to see him because seeing him made me hurt more, so I haven't seen him for over 4 years.
Yet i still miss him and wish I could tell him how much I loved him... after all, I wouldn't have hated him if I didn't love him... I just wouldn't have cared.
I have a lot of issues to go through with my dad, and I'm finding it hard to deal with these now he's dead. He'll never know I loved him. all he will know is I hated him.
I feel like i have no right to be there at his funeral, let alone speak at it, and I feel like I have no right to be sad at all... I just feel so guilty.
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| Reply from: em-ere4eva |
Subject : your dad
i know how you feel. my dad died almost 2 years ago and ive never felt the same even though i hated him. but when he died uyou probably remember the good times more which makes u lovwe him more. and he does know you love him, my mum told me even if u say you hate someone a million times they know you love them. you should go his funeral because you have a right to be there. you shouldnt feel guilty, i did and its really not your fault
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| Reply from: CHEL |
Subject : anon
dont feel guilty about it, at the end of the day, he was your dad. Yeah, you've gone through tough times when he was alive, but now hes gone, dont let it ruin your life.
Talk to someone you can trust, dont keep it bottled up, it'll only become worse.
I lost my father to suicide 4 years ago, when i was 14. I made the mistake of keeping everything bottled up inside. My doctor diagnosed me with depression when i was 15. Dont make the same mistake i did, get help, i know its hard, buts it worth it.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
chel x
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